The love dare Day 2

DAY 2
LOVE IS KIND
BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER, TENDER-HEARTED, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, JUST AS GOD IN CHRIST ALSO HAS FORGIVEN YOU.--EPHESIANS 4:32

KINDNESS IS LOVE IN ACTION. PATIENCE IS HOW LOVE REACTS IN ORDER TO MINIMIZE A NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCE, KINDNESS IS HOW LOVES ACTS TO MAXAMIZE A POSITIVE CIRCUMSTANCE. PATIENCE AVOIDS A PROBLEM; KINDNESS CREATES A BLESSING. ONE IS PREVENTATIVE, THE OTHER PROACTIVE. THESE TWO SIDES OF LOVE ARE THE CORNERSTONES ON WHICH MANY OF THE OTHER ATTRIBUTES WE WILL DISCUSS ARE BUILT.
LOVE MAKES YOU KIND. AND KINDNESS MAKES YOU LIKABLE. WHEN YOU’RE KIND, PEOPLE WANT TO BE AROUND YOU. THEY SEE YOU AS BEING GOOD TO THEM AND GOOD FOR THEM.
THE BIBLE KEYS IN ON THE IMPORTANCE OF KINDNESS: “DO NOT LET KINDNESS AND TRUTH LEAVE YOU; BIND THEM AROUND YOUR NECK, WRITE THEM ON THE TABLET OF YOU HEART. SO YOU WILL FIND FAVOR AND GOOD REPUTE IN THE SIGHT OF GOD AND MAN” (PROVERBS 3:3-4) KIND PEOPLE SIMPLY FAVOR WHEREVER THEY GO. EVEN AT HOME. BUT “KINDNESS” CAN FEEL A LITTLE GENERIC WHEN YOU TRY DEFINING IT, MUCH LESS LIVING IT. SO LET’S BREAK KINDNESS DOWN INTO FOUR BASIC CORE INGREDIENTS:
GENTLENESS. WHEN YOU’RE OPERATING FROM KINDNESS, YOU’RE CAREFUL HOW YOU TREAT YOUR SPOUSE, NEVER BEING UNNECESSARILY HARSH. YOU’RE SENSATIVE. TENDER. EVEN IF YOU NEED TO SAY HARD THINGS, YOU’LL BEND OVER BACKWARDS TO MAKE YOUR REBUKE OR CHALLENGE AS EASY TO HEAR AS POSSIBLE. YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.
HELPFULLNESS. BEING KIND MEANS YOU MEET THE NEEDS OF THE MOMENT. IF IT’S HOUSEWORK, YOU GET BUSY. A LISTENING EAR? YOU GIVE IT. KINDNESS GRACES A WIFE WITH THE ABILITY TO SERVE HER HUSBAND WITHOUT WORRYING HER RIGHTS. KINDNESS MAKES A HUSBAND CURIOUS TO DISCOVER HIS WIFES NEEDS, THEN MOTIVATES HIM TO BE THE ONE WHO STEPS UP AND ENSURES THOSE NEEDS ARE MET---EVEN IF HIS ARE PUT ON HOLD.
WILLINGNESS. KINDNESS INSPIRES YOU TO BE AGREEALE. INSTEAD OF BEING OBSTINATE, RELUCTANT, OR STUBBORN., YOU COOPERATE, YOU STAY FLEXIBLE. RATHER THAN COMPLAINING AND MAKING EXCUSES, YOU LOOK FOR REASONS TO COMPROMISE AND ACCOMMODATE. A KIND HUSBAND ENDS THOUSANDS OF POTENTIAL ARGUMENTS BY HIS WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN FIRST RATHER THAN DEMAND HIS WAY.
INITIATIVE. KINDNESS THINKS AHEAD, THEN TAKES THE FIRST STEP. IT DOESN’T SIT AROUND WAITING TO BE PROMPTED OR COERCED BEFORE GETTING OFF THE COUCH. THE KIND HUSBAND OR WIFE WILL BE THE ONE WHO GREETS FIRST, SMILES FIRST, SERVES FIRST, AND FORGIVES FIRST. THEY DON’T REQUIRE THE OTHER TO GET HIS OR HER ACT TOGETHER BEFORE SHOWING LOVE. WHEN ACTING FROM KINDNESS, YOU SEE THE NEED, THEN MAKE YOUR MOVE. FIRST.
JESUS CREATIVELY DESCRIBED THE KINDNESS OF LOVE IN HIS PARABLE OF THE GOOD SAMARITAN, FOUND IN THE BIBLE---LUKE, CHAPTER 10. A JEWISH MAN ATTACKED BY ROBBERS IS LEFT FOR DEAD ON A REMOTE ROAD. TWO RELIGIOUS LEADERS, RESPECTED AMONG THEIR PEOPLE, WALK BY WITHOUT CHOOSING TO STOP. TOO BUSY. TOO IMPORTANT. TOO FOND OF CLEAN HANDS. BUT A COMMON MAN OF ANOTHER RACE---HATED SAMARITANS, WHOSE DISLIKE FOR THE JEWS WAS BOTH BITTER AND MUTUAL---SEES THIS STRANGER IN NEED AND IS MOVED WITH COMPASSION. CROSSING ALL CULTURAL BOUNDARIES AND RISKING RIDICULE, HE STOPS TO HELP THE MAN. BANDAGING HIS WOUNDS AND PUTTING HIM ON HIS OWN DONKEY, HE CARRIES HIM TO SAFETY AND PAYS ALL HIS MEDICAL EXPENSES OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET.
WHERE YEARS OF RACISM HAD CAUSED STRIFE AND DIVISION, ONE ACT OF KINDNESS BROUGHT TWO ENEMIES TOGETHER. GENTLY. HELPFULLY. WILLINGLY. TAKING THE INITIATIVE, THIS MAN HAD DEMONSTRATED TRUE KINDNESS IN EVERY WAY.
WASN’T KINDNESS ONE OF THE KEY THINGS THAT DREW YOU AND YOUR SPUSE TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHEN YOU MARRIED, WEREN’T YOU EXPECTING TO ENJOY HIS OR HER KINDNESS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? DIDN’T YOUR MATE FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU? EVEN THOUGH THE YEARS CAN TAKE THE EDGE OFF THAT DESIRE, YOUR ENJOYMENT IN MARRIAGE IS STILL LINKED TO THE DAILY LEVEL OF KINDNESS EXPRESSED.
THE BIBLE DESCRIBES A WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND AND CHILDREN BLESS AND PRAISE HER. AMONG HER NOBLE ATTRIBUTES ARE THESE: “SHE OPENS HER MOUTH IN WISDOM, AND THE TEACHING OF KINDNESS IS ON HER TONGUE” (PROVERBS 31:26) HOW ABOUT YOU? HOW WOULD YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE DESCRIBE YOU ON THE KINDNESS METER? HOW HARSH ARE YOU? HOW GENTLE AND HELPFUL? DO YOU WAIT TO BE ASKED, OR DO YOU TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO HELP? DON’T WAIT FOR THE SPOUSE TO BE KIND FIRST.
IT IS DIFFICULT TO DEMONSTRATE LOVE WHEN YOU FEEL LITTLE TO NO MOTIVATION. BUT LOVE IN ITS TRUEST SENSE IS NOT BASED ON FEELINGS. RATHER, LOVE DETERMINES TO SHOW THOUGHTFUL ACTIONS EVEN WHEN THERE SEEMS TO BE NO REWARD. YOU WILL NEVER LEARN TO LOVE UNTIL YOU LEARN TO DEMONSTRATE KINDNESS.
IN ADDITION TO SAYING NOTHING NEGATVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AGAIN TODAY, DO AT LEAST ONE UNEXPECTED GESTURE AS AN ACT OF KINDNESS.

Day 1: The Love Dare

I JUST BOUGHT THIS BOOK : THE LOVE DARE, AND HAVE DECIDED TO BLOG IT OUT! I HOPE THAT EACH PERSON THAT READS THIS FEELS THAT THEY CAN TAKE FROM THE PASSAGES I WRITE TO USE TOWARDS THEIR OWN LIFE. MY HUSBAND AND I DONT HAVE A BAD RELATIONSHIP, AS IN THE MOVIE FIREPROOF, BUT EVERYONE HAS ROOM TO IMPROVE. WHEN I WATCHED THAT MOVIE, IT WAS RIGHT AFTER DAVE AND I HAD OUR REAL FIRST BIG FIGHT. WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 7 YEARS, BUT I HAD NEVER LET AN ARGUMENT WITH HIM GO FOR MORE THAN A DAY. WE WERE ARGUING AND NOT SPEAKING TO EACHOTHER FOR OVER A WEEK. THEN MY FRIEND SAT ME DOWN TO WATCH THIS MOVIE AND IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A MESSAGE FROM GOD. SO I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU THE SAME. IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE MOVIE, YOU SHOULD. IF YOU ARE MARRIED, DOESNT MATTER IF THINGS ARE GOING WELL OR NOT, I RECOMMEND THE MOVIE TO EVERYONE....SO I HOPE THAT ALL OF YOU ENJOY MY BLOGGING;)

DAY 1
LOVE IS PATIENT

"BE COMPLETELTY HUMBLE AND GENTLE; BE PATIENT BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE-EPHESIANS 4:2 NIV

LOVE WORKS. IT IS LIFES MOST POWERFUL MOTIVATOR AND HAS FAR GREATER DEPTH AND MEANING THAN MOST PEOPLE REALIZE. IT ALWAYS DOES WHAT IS BEST FOR OTHERS AND CAN EMPOWER US TO FACE THE GREATEST PROBLEMS. WE ARE BORN WITH A LIFELONG THIRST FOR LOVE. OUR HEARTS DESPERATLY NEED IT LIKE OUR LUNGS NEED OXYGEN. LOVE CHANGES OUR MOTIVATION FOR LIVING. RELATIONSHIPS BECOME MEANINGFUL WITH IT. NO MARRIAGE IS SUCCESSFUL WITHOUT IT.
LOVE IS BUILT ON TWO PILLARS THAT BEST DEFINE WHAT IT IS. THOSE PILLARS ARE PATIENCE AND KINDNESS. ALL OTHER CHARACTERISTICS OF LOVE ARE EXTENSIONS OF THESE TWO ATTRIBUTES. AND THATS WHERE YOUR DARE WILL BEGIN. WITH PATIENCE.
LOVE WILL INSPIRE YOU TO BECOME A PATIENT PERSON. WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT, YOU RESPOND IN A POSITIVE WAY TO A NEGATIVE SITUATION. YOU ARE SLOW TO ANGER. YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE A LONG FUSE INSTEAD OF A QUICK TEMPER. RATHER THAN BEING RESTLESS AND DEMANDING, LOVE HELPS YOU SETTLE DOWN AND BEGIN EXTENDING MERCY TO THOSE AROUND YOU. PATIENCE BRINGS AND INTERNAL CALM DURING AN EXTERNAL STORM.
NO ONE LIKES TO BE AROUND AN IMPATIENT PERSON. IT CAUSES YOU TO OVERREACT IN ANGRY, FOOLISH, AND REGRETTABLE WAYS. THE IRONY OF ANGER TOWARD A WRONGFUL ACTION IS THAT IT SPAWNS NEW WRONGS OF ITS OWN. ANGER ALMOST NEVER MAKES THINGS BETTER. IN FACT, IT USUALLY GENERATES ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS. BUT PATIENCE STOPS PROBLEMS IN THEIR TRACKS. MORE THAN BITING YOUR LIP, MORE THAN CLAPPING A HAND OVER YOUR MOUTH, PATIENCE IS A DEEP BREATH. IT CLEARS THE AIR. IT STOPS FOLLISHNESS FROM WHIPPING ITS SCORPION TAIL ALL OVER THE ROOM/ IT IS A CHOICE TO CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS RATHER THAN ALLOWING YOUR EMOTIONS TO CONTROL YOU, AND SHOWS DISCRETION INSTEAD OF RETURNING EVIL FOR EVIL.
IF YOUR SPOUSE OFFENDS YOU, DO YOU QUICKLY RETALIATE, OR DO YOU STAY UNDER CONTROL? DO YOU FIND THAT ANGER IS YOUR EMOTIONAL DEFAULT WHEN TREATED UNFAIRLY? IF SO, YOU ARE SPREADING POISON RATHER THAN MEDICINE.
ANGER IS USUALLY CAUSED WHEN THE STRONG DESIRE FOR SOMETHING IS MIXED WITH DISAPPOINTMENT OR GRIEF. YOU DONT GET WHAT YOU WANT AND YOU START HEATING UP INSIDE. IT IS OFTEN AN EMOTIONAL REACTION THAT FLOWS OUT OF OUR SELFISHNESS, FOOLISHNESS, OR EVIL MOTIVES.
PATIENCE, HOWEVER, MAKES US WISE. IT DOESNT RUSH TO JUDGEMENT BUT LISTENS TO WHAT THE OTHER PERSON IS SAYING. PATIENCE STANDS IN THE DOORWAY WHERE ANGER IS CLAWING TO BURST IN, BUT WAITS TO SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE BEFORE PASSING JUDGEMENT. THE BIBLE SAYS, "HE WHO IS SLOW ANGER HAS GREAT UNDERSTANDING BUT HE WHO IS QUICK-TEMPERED EXALTS FOLLY" (PROVERBS 14:29)
AS SURE AS A LACK OF PATIENCE WILL TURN YOUR HOME INTO A WAR ZONE, THE PRACTICE OF PATIENCE WILL FOSTER PEACE AND QUIET. "A HOT-TEMPERED STIRS UP IN STRIFE, BUT THE SLOW TO ANGER CALMS A DISPUTE" (PROVERBS 15:18) STATEMENTS LIKE THESE FROM THE BIBLE BOOK OF PROVERBS ARE CLEAR PRINCIPLES WITH TIMELESS RELEVANCE. PATIENCE IS WHERE LOVE MEETS WISDOM. AND EVERY MARRIAGE NEED THAT COMBINATION.
PATIENCE HELPS YOU GIVE YOUR SPOUSE PERMISSION TO BE HUMAN. IT UNDERSTANDS THAT EVERYONE FAILS. WHEN A MISTAKE IS MADE, IT CHOOSES TO GIVE THEM MORE TIME THAN THEY DESERVE TO CORRECT IT. IT GIVES YOU THE ABILITY TO HOLD ON DURING THE TOUGH TIMES IN YOUR RELATIONSHP RATHER THAN BAILING OUT UNDER THE PRESSURE.
BUT CAN YOUR SPOUSE COUNT ON HAVING A PATIENT WIFE OR HUSBAND TO DEAL WITH? CAN SHE KNOW THAT LOCKING HER KEYS IN THE CAR WILL BE MET BY YOUR UNDERSTANDING RATHER TAHN A DEMEANING LECTURE THAT MAKES HER FEEL LIKE A CHILD? CAN HE KNOW THAT CHEERING DURING THE LAST SECONDS OF A FOOTBALL GAME WONT INVITE A LOUD-MOUTHED LAUNDRY LIST OF WAYS HE SHOULD SPEND HIS TIME? IT TURNS OUT THAT FEW PEOPLE ARE AS HARD TO LIVE WITH AS AN IMPATIENT PERSON.
WHAT WOULD THE TONE AND VOLUME OF YOUR HOME BE LIKE IF YOU TRIED THIS BIBLICAL APPROACH: "SEE THAT NO ONE REAPYS ANOTHER WITH EVIL FOR EVIL, BUT ALWAYS SEEK AFTER THAT WHICH IS GOOD FOR ONE ANOTHER" (I THESSALONIANS 5:15)
FEW OF US DO PATIENCE VERY WELL, AND NONE OF US DO IT NATURALLY. BUT WISE MEN AND WOMEN WILL PURSUE IT AS AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIANT TO THEIR MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIPS. THATS A GOOD STARTING POINT TO DEMONSTRATE TRUE LOVE.
THIS LOVE DARE JOURNEY IS A PROCESS, AND THE FIRT THING YOU MUST RESOLVE TO POSSESS IS PATIENCE. THINK OF IT AS A MARATHON, NOT A SPRINT. BUT ITS A RACE WORTH RUNNING.

THE FIRST PART OF THE DARE IS FAIRLY SIMPLE. ALTHOUGH LOVE IS COMMUNICATED IN A NUMBER OF WAYS, OUR WORDS OFTEN REFLECT THE CONDITION OF OUR HEART. FOR THE NEXT DAY, RESOLVE TO DEMONSTRATE PATIENCE AND TO SAY NOTHING NEGATIVE TO YOUR SPOUSE AT ALL. IF THE TEMPTATION ARISES, CHOOSE NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. ITS BETTER TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE THAN TO SAY SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET."